More than ten years has passed since Charlie* came to Go Beyond for a break, but his Grandmother remembers clear as anything the impact it had. Thank you for making weeks like this possible.
“Charlie’s Mum, my daughter, had Charlie when she was 18-years-old. She was so young herself and unfortunately she and his father split while she was still pregnant with Charlie. From the moment Charlie was born, he was never an easy baby or an easy child. He was nothing like any of my children.
“At about three years old, at one of the checks they give to children, they found Charlie was behind in some of his development. When he later started at a school he had real difficulty being around all the other children and responding to what was expected of him in the classroom.
“Not long afterwards he was diagnosed with ADHD. He and his Mum moved back near me and Charlie started at another school.
“Unfortunately he also found it hard to settle there and continued to have problems in school. When he was about ten-years-old, before he started secondary school, he saw an educational psychologist who said he had a low IQ of 74. She said it was unusual for a child without a family history of it to have such a low IQ – and he was given a diagnosis of ‘low cognitive ability.’
“Charlie moved on up to secondary school with that diagnosis and it dogged his time there. His Mum had another child, a younger brother who was six years younger and she began to struggle at home with Charlie’s behaviour. She feared how Charlie’s behaviour was influencing his younger brother. She was working full time and really struggling. So we started to see Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). During a meeting with CAMHS a lot of stuff came out about what was happening at home. The CAMHS psychologist said she didn’t think it was a good idea for Charlie to go back to his home again. From that day on he came to live with me.
“I became his special guardian. But at that time my mother was also staying with me. She was 78 years old and brought up in the 1920s. She didn’t understand about ADHD. She just thought he was a naughty boy. They hated each other. It was very difficult. Charlie just needed some love and support.
“He had a social worker for an interim period which was a very welcome thing. It was her idea to send him to CHICKS, as Go Beyond was known then, for a break. It came at a very helpful time because my Mum had just been admitted to hospital. We, and especially Charlie, were struggling emotionally and physically. It wasn’t a healthy situation for him to be around.
“When I first heard about Go Beyond I couldn’t believe that such a thing existed. Apart from going horse riding and coming home with a rosette, I can’t remember exactly what he did while he was there. But I clearly remember what he said when he got home, ‘they liked me.’ Charlie was no good at making friends. People didn’t like him. No one could accept him for what he was. The teachers found him difficult. But at Go Beyond he found an environment where children, however they behave, are liked.
“Honestly, what Go Beyond’s staff do is truly amazing. They are non-judgmental. There is only acceptance. All the other children, with their own difficulties and struggles, liked Charlie and he was amazed. It was so good for his self-esteem. Afterwards he was sent a birthday card and Christmas present which was such a pleasure and showed he was still thought about.
“There is such a need for Go Beyond’s service – I would recommend it to anybody. To think about what he said when he got home makes me want to cry to this day. His self-esteem was so low. He still struggles with it now and then.
“Today, he is living in supported accommodation and is receiving counselling. He has since been diagnosed with Aspergers and when he found out it was funny because he said ‘oh, all my friends have Aspergers too!’ He is a lovely, kind and accepting person.
“He still feels he owes Go Beyond and has shown an interest in volunteering at the Coastal Centre. I am so grateful to the staff for the week they gave him, even 13 years on.”
*Charlie’s name and some details of his story have been changed to protect his identity
